No Smell of Smoke was on Them

The satraps, the prefects, the governors and the king’s counselors gathered around them and saw that in regard to these men the fire had no effect on their bodies—their hair was not singed, their clothes were not scorched or damaged, even the smell of smoke was not on them.
DANIEL 3:27 (94) AMP (NAB)

https://bible.com/bible/1588/dan.3.27.AMP

Dear Ones,

I am writing this to remind myself that God's salvation is not just surviving but surpassing, surreal and supreme. 

After the interview yesterday, roaming aimlessly in the small downtown shopping center in the chilly autumn weather, I felt undeniably and unprecedentedly old...I definitely have entered into the middle age. Shopping attracts me no more and not even distracts me. 

What's the point of a middle-aged woman with no prospect of relationship spending money and energy on looks? And I told myself even if life goes on I will be forever scarred and look permanently different. And imagine I was thinking in this direction even before I learned that my interview didn't quite seal the job for me. 

This morning I thought I couldn't get out of bed...I have to make decisions about a number of interlinked logistic issues...my own return, my parents accommodation and my own and if I would live with them in city, etc...

And if Pam still remembers, the soft spoken man in whom I placed a certain vague hope... Nothing came out of it... despite the good laugh and talk each time we saw each other at the dance classes or parties. He asked about my latest and I politely said goodbye. He wished me well. 

All these small bits and pieces are eating away my strength and resilience.

I will have no job or love here or back home. I'm just an old useless woman. I felt I couldn't get out of bed to face today.

To deafen the "all wise" pessimistic voice I keep on listening to sermons... I find in my case some of the so called prosperity preaching is really like sugar for hypoglycemia patient...life saving. Although, it is maybe not so for those who suffer from obesity and diabetes... But me...oh, messages about how God loves us and will do the best and never will leave us... is never going to be an overdose.

I told myself..my Father will not just save me, but will restore my youth and energy... that in the end no one not even myself will be able to tell the hell I have gone through... 

There will be no smell of smoke about me.

Amen.

I love you.. To be able to share these with you is such a blessing.

Your friend.